What to Do When a Parent Gets a Suspicious Text or Call

Step 1 — Separate the event from the emergency

Scams work by collapsing the time between "this message arrived" and "I must act." Your first job is to restore time. Nothing in a scam message actually has a deadline — the deadline is the scam. Say it out loud if it helps: "A real bank doesn't need an answer in 20 minutes, and a real grandchild is never in jail in another country."

Step 2 — Don't engage (yet)

• Don't reply — not even "stop" or "wrong number." A reply confirms the number is live and gets the parent added to more lists.
• Don't call the number in the message — scammers answer those lines and they're very good at improvising.
• Don't click links or open attachments. If a text mentions a package or a bill, go to the company's official app or website directly.
• Don't share the one-time code. If a code arrived on their phone and the caller asks them to read it back, that is an account takeover in progress, full stop. Hang up.

Step 3 — Verify through an independent channel

If the message claims to be from a real organization — a bank, the power company, a government agency, tech support — verify it the boring way:

1. Look up the official phone number yourself (back of the card, statement, or official website — not the message).
2. Call and ask: "Did you contact me about [the thing]?"
3. Or open the official app / website by typing the address or using a bookmark.

If the message claims to be from family, call that person at the number you already have for them — not any number in the message. The full method, with scripts your parent can follow, is in How to verify a message independently.

Step 4 — Report it

Reporting sounds optional; it's actually how these operations get shut down. Each report takes a few minutes and needs no personal information:

• Forward scam texts to 7726 (SPAM) on most U.S. carriers.
• Report to the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov.
• For cybercrime involving money lost or computers accessed: FBI IC3.
• Social Security impersonation: ssa.gov/scam. Medicare fraud: HHS OIG.

Step 5 — The part most guides skip: the conversation with your parent

Your parent already feels foolish. Scammers specifically target older adults because they're polite, trusting, and afraid of being a burden. If the first thing out of your mouth is "how did you fall for this," the next scam gets hidden instead of reported.

Say these four things, in this order:

1. "You did nothing wrong." (Scammers run thousands of attempts; getting one is a statistic, not a character flaw.)
2. "This happens to people every day." (It does — the FTC's data on reported losses runs into the billions annually.)
3. "Here's the rule we'll use from now on." (One rule only: if a call or message asks for money, codes, or account info, we hang up and call back on a number we looked up ourselves.)
4. "You can always tell me about this." (The real defense is a parent who reports the weird thing instead of hiding it.)

If money or codes already changed hands

• Verification code sent: the account is compromised. Change the password immediately and sign out of other devices. Contact the company's fraud line.
• Bank or card info shared: call the number on the back of the card now, freeze or close affected accounts, and ask about fraud alerts.
• Gift cards, wire, or crypto sent: report immediately — gift-card companies and banks have specific recovery steps and timing matters. Report to the FTC and IC3 as well.
• Remote-access software installed: disconnect from the internet, then have a professional remove the software and change passwords from a different device.

Prevent the next one

• Set up a family safe word — the most effective defense against voice-impersonation calls.
• Silence unknown callers on an iPhone or Android — most scam calls simply stop ringing.
• Teach the verify-independently habit — one skill, protects against almost everything.
• Run the Scam Risk Check next time something arrives — it works in the browser and keeps a copy of nothing.

Sources & verification

This page follows the evidence hierarchy in our editorial policy, preferring government sources for scam patterns. Reviewed 2026-08-07:

• FTC — How To Avoid a Scam (retrieved 2026-08-07)
• FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center — IC3 homepage and complaint process (retrieved 2026-08-07)
• SSA — Protect Yourself from Social Security Scams (retrieved 2026-08-07)
• HHS OIG — Report Fraud, Waste, and Abuse (retrieved 2026-08-07)
• US Administration for Community Living — Eldercare Locator (retrieved 2026-08-07)

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