What to Do When a Parent Gets a Suspicious Text or Call

slow down the moment

The suspicious message timeline

The five steps, in order: separate, stop, verify, report, and talk. The order matters, because the first two steps are what stop the money from moving.

1. 1. SeparateEvent, not emergencyThe message can wait. Urgency is the scam's tool.
2. 2. StopDo not engageNo replies, no codes, no callbacks to the number given.
3. 3. VerifyIndependent channelUse the official website or the number on the card, never the message.
4. 4. ReportTell the right peopleFTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov, texts to 7726, and the real bank or agency.
5. 5. TalkThe family conversationMake "I got a weird message" a safe sentence so the next one gets shared too.

Send this Print this

What happened

A suspicious message or caller wants an answer now

Use this order. You do not need to decide whether it is definitely a scam before making the safe first move.

Do this first

Stop contact. Do not reply or use a link or phone number from the message. Restore time before doing anything else.

Do not do this

Do not share money, codes, passwords, account details, or remote access. Do not keep the request secret.

Buy anything?

No. Buying a blocker or replacement device is not the first-hour fix. Verify and secure accounts first.

Safe way to verify

Use the number on the card or statement, or open the official app or website yourself. For family, call the number already in your contacts.

Already sent money, shared a code, clicked, or installed software?

Skip ordinary verification and start recovery. Contact the bank or account provider through an official channel, secure affected accounts from a trusted device, preserve the evidence, and use the first-hour scam recovery plan.

Send the part they need

Text to Mom or Dad

You did the right thing by telling me. Please stop replying and don't click or call anything in that message. I will help verify it using a number we look up ourselves. Don't send money or read anyone a code.

Text to a sibling

Mom/Dad got a suspicious message. I have stopped contact. Can you handle independent verification through the official company number while I check whether any money, codes, passwords, or device access were shared? Reply here with what you confirm.

Copy text to Mom or Dad Copy sibling task text Large-print version Print or save this one-page plan

Step 1: Separate the event from the emergency

Scams work by collapsing the time between "this message arrived" and "I must act." Your first job is to restore time. Nothing in a scam message actually has a deadline: the deadline is the scam. Say it out loud if it helps: "A real bank doesn't need an answer in 20 minutes, and a real grandchild is never in jail in another country."

Step 2: Don't engage (yet)

• Don't reply, not even "stop" or "wrong number." A reply confirms the number is live and gets the parent added to more lists.
• Don't call the number in the message: scammers answer those lines and they're very good at improvising.
• Don't click links or open attachments. If a text mentions a package or a bill, go to the company's official app or website directly.
• Don't share the one-time code. If a code arrived on their phone and the caller asks them to read it back, that is an account takeover in progress, full stop. Hang up.

Step 3: Verify through an independent channel

If the message claims to be from a real organization (a bank, the power company, a government agency, tech support) verify it the boring way:

1. Look up the official phone number yourself (back of the card, statement, or official website, not the message).
2. Call and ask: "Did you contact me about [the thing]?"
3. Or open the official app / website by typing the address or using a bookmark.

If the message claims to be from family, call that person at the number you already have for them, not any number in the message. The full method, with scripts your parent can follow, is in How to verify a message independently.

Step 4: Report it

Reporting sounds optional; it's actually how these operations get shut down. Each report takes a few minutes and needs no personal information:

• Forward scam texts to 7726 (SPAM) on most U.S. carriers.
• Report to the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov.
• For cybercrime involving money lost or computers accessed: FBI IC3.
• Social Security impersonation: ssa.gov/scam. Medicare fraud: HHS OIG.

Step 5: The part most guides skip: the conversation with your parent

Your parent already feels foolish. Scammers specifically target older adults because they're polite, trusting, and afraid of being a burden. If the first thing out of your mouth is "how did you fall for this," the next scam gets hidden instead of reported.

Say these four things, in this order:

1. "You did nothing wrong." (Scammers run thousands of attempts; getting one is a statistic, not a character flaw.)
2. "This happens to people every day." (It does: the FTC's data on reported losses runs into the billions annually.)
3. "Here's the rule we'll use from now on." (One rule only: if a call or message asks for money, codes, or account info, we hang up and call back on a number we looked up ourselves.)
4. "You can always tell me about this." (The real defense is a parent who reports the weird thing instead of hiding it.)

If money or codes already changed hands

• Verification code sent: the account is compromised. Change the password immediately and sign out of other devices. Contact the company's fraud line.
• Bank or card info shared: call the number on the back of the card now, freeze or close affected accounts, and ask about fraud alerts.
• Gift cards, wire, or crypto sent: report immediately: gift-card companies and banks have specific recovery steps and timing matters. Report to the FTC and IC3 as well.
• Remote-access software installed: disconnect from the internet, then have a professional remove the software and change passwords from a different device.

After today's message is handled

The next thing your family needs

Set a family safe word. It gives a parent one simple check when a caller uses a cloned or panicked family voice. Agree on a word that is memorable but not posted publicly, then practice using it once.

Set the family safe word

After that, make unknown callers quieter on their iPhone or Android, and use the Scam Risk Check when the next strange message arrives.

Sources & verification

This page is checked against the standards in our editorial policy, preferring government sources for scam patterns. Reviewed August 2026:

• FTC: How To Avoid a Scam (retrieved August 2026)
• FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center: IC3 homepage and complaint process (retrieved August 2026)
• SSA: Protect Yourself from Social Security Scams (retrieved August 2026)
• HHS OIG: Report Fraud, Waste, and Abuse (retrieved August 2026)
• US Administration for Community Living: Eldercare Locator (retrieved August 2026)

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